Life of a Secretary: A Hilarious Take on Rotary Realities
Being a secretary in Rotary is like being the butter in a sandwich—squeezed between the bread of presidential ambitions and the toppings of committee expectations. While everyone savours the final flavour of a Rotary event, they seldom realize the butter is melting under the pressure. Let me take you behind the scenes of Valarpirai—an event that taught me that a secretary’s life is not just about minutes but also about surviving the hours!
The Secretary’s Toolkit: Coffee, Chaos, and Coping
The journey begins with a cup of coffee and an inbox full of agendas. From there, it’s a quick dive into spreadsheets, WhatsApp groups, and the eternal dilemma: “Should I use bold or italics in this invite?” It’s a delicate balance, ensuring the Event Chair feels like the chairman while you secretly manage the chaos.
Registration Roulette
The registration process was like playing Tetris. With numbers pouring in and deadlines looming, it felt like balancing bricks of expectations on a timer. Rotarians, bless them, would call with the most creative queries:
- “I registered, but where’s my registration number?”
- “Can I bring my pet dog or at least my spouse?”
- “I don’t know my blood group, will I still get a goodies bag?”
In moments like these, I developed a newfound respect for customer care executives. If multitasking were an Olympic sport, secretaries would bring home the gold, silver, and bronze.
Meetings: A Comedy of Errors
Imagine 15 Rotarians, each with a brilliant idea, and one secretary trying to write it all down. Welcome to the planning committee meetings! As minutes were discussed, I realized that the word “minutes” is misleading—it doesn’t mean they last for minutes. It means they consume hours.
From approving budgets to arranging Arabian tents, the meetings tested my patience, my handwriting, and my sense of humour. By the end, I was ready to suggest we rename the event Panchamirtham (smashed fruit mixture), given the number of last-minute twists turns and punches.
Event Day: The Secretary’s Marathon
Event day begins before sunrise because, apparently, secretaries are nocturnal creatures. By 7:00 AM, I was herding Rotarians like cattle, ensuring everyone finished breakfast before 7:30. Delegation is a myth. You’re the one directing the parking, managing the sound system, and ensuring the tea doesn’t run out—all while answering the eternal Rotary question:
“Where’s the bathroom?”
Every time someone praised the seamless registration process or the perfectly curated program, I smiled. Little did they know that the real MVPs were the 14 WhatsApp groups, 1200 calls, and 3 sleepless nights that made it happen.
Post-Event Therapy: Laughter is the Best Medicine
The aftermath is a curious mix of exhaustion and pride. Sure, I was one email away from becoming a meme, but seeing the Green Rotarians light up during Valarpirai made it all worthwhile. I might not have a “Thank You” banner hanging over my head, but the satisfaction of surviving the chaos was reward enough.
Rotary Secrets of a Secretary
- Rotarians don’t read emails – They just call and ask, “What’s this about?”
- Last-minute changes are a guarantee – If your checklist is done, someone will add a new item.
- You are the Google of the event – Venue details? Call the secretary. Menu questions? Call the secretary.
- Your name will be missed in Thank You speeches – But everyone will remember your work.
A Toast to Secretaries Everywhere
To every Rotary secretary juggling meetings, registrations, and the occasional call at 11 PM, remember this: while others celebrate leadership, we are the backbone. We ensure the trains run on time, the goodies bags are packed, and the chaos turns into a smooth event.
So here’s to us, the unsung heroes, the secretaries of Rotary! If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But if life gives you a Rotary event? Call for reinforcements and pray for coffee.
Disclaimer: The author, Rtn. Sashikumar VS, who leapfrogged straight to Club President without the “Secretary Survival Training Program,” took on the role of Event Secretary for Valarpirai. Now, with firsthand experience, he fully understands why practice makes perfect—and why secretaries always keep a stash of snacks and aspirin handy!
